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MissionaryBarbarito
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Name: Barbarito
Country: United States
State: New York
Metro: Syracuse
Birthday: 10/19/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: ~ um interest...I dunno EVERYTHING! God made this worldfor us to enjoy, not in a lets go out and live in sin way,but in an im going to live life to the fullest each day way! Praise the Lord for life.. even on the hard days when we wonder why were alive, cuz the sunny days wll be so much brighter!
Expertise: I am an expert at being me! God has made me unique there is no one else like me, no one else who can do what I am called to do.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  MissionaryBarb02
Member Since:
10/12/2003
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| clever title of the movie currently playing that keli and i are half watching. We have spent a good deal of our weekend shopping aorund, I have yet to go to ikea, yay ikea, but i still have three days here, We spent the last two hours cleaning the tenney kitchen, it was kinda messy, I feel accomplished and it was nice to bless them and all that.
I have been buying some back to school type stuff. I just got out of the weird feeling if I didnt buy school stuff in the fall I was out of place, and now I'm going back to school again and can buy a new back to school outfit! yay! and I got some other cool stuff, although off the record I am broke, shh.
I am applying for 'real jobs' too. I am hopeful for a teaching assistant job but we'll see. I could take a full time job as a professional bargain hunter, I'd do well at that. I just need something new in the job department, mostly because I can't afford my bills at the moment.
I am moving, either the 1st or the 15th. I am so excited about moving. I have all this stuff ready for my new place, even though I am moving with my mom, I feel like I am moving in by myself, and I will be more independent. I will go from pretending to be a real adult to almost being a real adult.
Relationship stuff is going along. Sparky and I are learning how to communicate. People seem to like him for the most part. He is in India for a missions trip for 10 days so I am enjoying the silence. haha. He's a pretty cool guy though, I kind of like him.
Life continues to pass me by in leaps and bounds. I often cant tell up from down lately, but soon enough I will figure all this out and things will be good. | | |
| Life has been spinning circles around my head, but all is seemingly ok in barbland. Yes my parents are separating and my mom is using me as a mother in a role reversal type situation, but I have been doing ok pawning off the stress in other venues. My mom and I are looking for other housing situations and I am looking for a new 'real' job in a school for the next school year and prepping for grad school to start. Who knows what will be coming of me, but I am taking things moment by moment.
I am officially released from the church. In a few weeks I am having a celebratory yay pastor barb was our pastor for 2 years party but I am done with CNY church and am now church shopping to find a place that fits me, since im all cynical and not a fan of emotionalism.
I had a fantastic vacation with some of my college pals, staying in buffalo and seeing niagara falls and I just enjoyed my time away. I have tons of memorable pictures saved on my facebook etc, it was basically just good to be away. And it was mad fun. I remember why these people were some of my best friends:)
In addition to many transitions I have seemingly gained a boyfriend. I know its crazy and unexpected timing, but i figured i'd give it a try. He's a good guy and I enjoy his company. We're a good team together. If something else comes out of it great, if not we're still good friends. I'm basically just exploring this relationship thing.
Overall life is good, tough times, good times, and everything in between. I keep on, and thats all there is to it.
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| Current Music: tfk i have been awfully busy lately. Between working, looking for work, working on wedding crap for manda, and working on a social life, ( notice the key word in all of those things: work)
I feel overwhelmed by the word work.
I have a vacation next week with some of the most amazing people I know. I desperately need it too, It will probably give me more than just a vacation but time and clarity as well, at least I am hoping for that.
I am having a lot of emotions lately too. And I am trying to actually acknowledge and work through them, instead of ignore them, I am doing well or so my shrink tends to tell me, but I can never seem to get beyond the point I get to. I hate that. Its like going to the beach but only walking along the waters edge, you know there's more but you arent out there in it. Maybe I'm just not ready for that yet. Who knows? But I want to be ready. I want more.
I dislike being as indecisive as I am. I dislike being busy as I am. I dislike worry, nightmares, and stress that consumes my life. I try to not let it, but some days it sneaks up on me. I don't know how to process through it all, and letting others in my nice little box, well that's scary, but I am getting a little better. | | |
| qua⋅si adjective resembling; seeming; virtual: a quasi member.
So my life has been kinda busy lately going through many transitions. Including a possible quasi boy friend. I like the meaning of the word quasi, which many people do not know the meaning of, or even believe is a word. I wonder at times if I am living a quasi life.
I am attempting to regain a normal sense of living. Being busy with hope of a new job, starting graduate classes, and regaining a sense of spirituality. I am church shopping a bit figuring out where I fit. I am feeling ready to tap into that sense of who I am again. Ready to embark on to something new. I am officially released from the title of pastor barb of cny evangelical christian church and its freeing. I am sad to go but ready for the me time and something new. I also saw my 2 seniors graduate today it was exciting. I love my youth and it reminds me why i did what I did for so long. Hope.
I don't want to just throw everything behind me and forget about it though, I do want to heal, fully. Not shove it aside and ignore it. However it doesn't dominate my life either. I like that. I am growing, maturing. I am no where near the same person I was a year ago. But I am healing. I am a person with a new vision and hope for what is to come. That's kinda cool
and lastly in relation to my title, I am gaining a quasi life. In addition to that a quasi boyfriend. He is back and trying to earn a place in my heart, and I think he's doing a pretty good job at it. He is teaching me what a guy should treat a girl as. Kinda neat. and new for sure. mildly exciting as well.
that's about all. life is going, generally ok.
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| 27 weeks ago my life was changed. I lost a lot of things that day, but now I am regaining my voice.
A plea has been offered, as far as I know, and I am awaiting on if it was accepted and the next step. For the time being I have been working with my therapist to regain my voice, and my identity.
I lost sight of a lot of things and now I feel a small sense of hope for a moderately decent future, different from how I felt a few months ago.
I have been working on my victim impact statement. Yet another exercise way of regaining control in a marred situation and seeing how I've changed. But as much as I have changed, I still see that there are positive things and I see negative things. I see the detrimental relationships that I have cut off in my life and I am working to keep solely positive relationships that build me up as a person.
I am afraid of what each day may hold at times, but I don't hold as much anxiety and fear. I am moving on and holding on to hope, even when it is only a thread of hope.
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